Chorus Of Apes

So, it's turned out to be pretty hard to follow any kind of regular halachic practice. Aside from the intrigue of conducting this experiment and my interest in figuring out what halacha practice might “feel like,” since I'm not solidly behind the “why” of any given practice, I am finding it really hard to stay fast to it. The contrast is pretty clear in my relationship between kashrut (even a reinterpreted one) and Shabbat. All week I've been thinking, “I should really start my practice of sourcing food locally,” but each time I go to eat convenience and immediacy seems to win out. In contrast, my decision to unplug my phone and computer for Shabbat felt really good. I brought it along anyway today in case the friend I was meeting for lunch needed to contact me, which he did. And, I gave into the temptation to check my e-mail. But mostly I refrain from using these devices, and it was really nice. I read a book, I took a nap, and more than that I had time to think “what do I want to do right now,” without the next article or e-mail popping onto the computer screen and into my head. It also became clear that having a community to celebrate Shabbat with, even just to friends at a picnic in the park, and my roommates who were observing Shabbat but not celebrating with me, made the whole thing real. So, even when I came home by myself I still felt beholden to the commitments I had made.

Since this blog is mostly for me, I'm not so concerned with the experiment making much sense to the reader. Rather the blog is just an excuse for me to put my thoughts down with some putative audience. That said, I thought that perhaps you might be interested to know exactly what this experiment is, or at least what I said it was going to be. So I've pasted the relevant part of my application essay below.  Enjoy!

I'm drawn to halacha as a system of values in practice.  In place of broad platitudes and vague intentions, halachic particulars enable the instantiation of values in a shared socially enforced system.  Just think of the possibilities if we could address environmental problems, economic issues, or even sexism and racism through the creation of shared halachic standards.  For a long time I've thought about what such a halacha could look like, but lacking the structure and community to experiment with it, I've not pursued it. The bounded and intensive nature of the program at Yeshivat Hadar provides an incredible opportunity to generate and live out such a halacha. With the support of the Hadar community I hope to take on a raft of new practices that are informed by traditional halachic categories and contemporary ethics and designed to create a structured, thoughtful and ethical life.  From kippah and tzitsit as mindfulness practice, through thrice daily prayer (or meditation) and a kashrut practice that includes strict vegetarianism and a commitment to source 50% of my meals outside of the Yeshivah from local farmers markets and CSAs, to berachot over food and asher yatsar – I am excited about assuming the obligations of these and other mitzvot and ethical standards in an environment that is both supportive and challenging.  I would come to Hadar with a set of questions that would allow me to pursue my intellectual and spiritual goals. I want to explore the interarticulations and disjunctures between my practice and the textual sources, looking for more ways that traditional halachic categories could inform my practice while continuing to explore the possible authoritative grounding of halacha in light of historical critical knowledge of textual composition and halachic development.  I would hope that in light of this experiment I would find a set of practices and a relationship to mitzvot that I could continue beyond the summer.